The Mother Flocker Of All Christmas Trees, Rerun
December 6, 2009 by admin
Filed under living with me
As tradition has it, the weekend after Thanksgiving means we need to get our Christmas tree. I kissed my husband good-bye, gave him a huge hug and told him I would see him soon. As I watched him disappear, I let out a heavy sigh. It seems like we just did this, could a year have gone by this quickly?
About two hours later my husband returned to me. He was cold, out of breath and empty handed. “I can’t find anything in that attic.”
We have a decent sized attic, there is a chimney running up the middle and stuff piled in what I thought was a logical order. You’ve got your basics:
* Standard Holiday Region (including but not limited to Easter, Independence/Memorial Day, Halloween, Christmas)
* American Girl Molly and Bitty Baby Region
* The Barbie and Ken Bonanza (featuring full frontal nudity, male and female)
* The My Favorite Clothes That Are Too Small Region
* The My Favorite Clothes That Are Way Too Small Region
* The My Favorite Clothes From When I Was Blond and Sinfully Thin
* The My Favorite Clothes From High School Region
* Dishes That I Really Like But Will Never Use Because They Are Not A Complete Set
I think you get the general idea. I like my clutter, I like my stuff. I like things around me and I can’t get enough!
So, here’s the deal. I no longer do lights because, although I am barely over fifty years old, I have been on this earth long enough to make the grown up decision that life it too short to NOT have a pre-lit tree. Therefore, my trees are pre-lit (as I should have been before I started this project) since the year after pre-lit trees were available to the general public. The first year they were too outrageously priced.
The coveted pre-lit tree makes its way through our attic, down the staircase, living room and finally plugged in the socket. Our forever-lit tree was not responding to the forever-running electrical current we had just generously provided.
Apparently, it is not a FOREVER-lit tree because that would be like making a promise to the consumer. It is just an EVER-lit tree because it will last until WHENEVER it decides to stop being lit. This was the year my tree quit being lit.
That’s alright, we’ll get another pre-lit tree and we can deal with this tree later. I have issues about throwing things away. I would rather save them until I find the perfect recipient.
Off to K-Mart we go, Martha’s calling and I can hear her loud and clear. David and I enter the tree area and I am somewhat disappointed by the choices provided by Ms. Stewart. I finally decide upon the Martha Stewart Everyday Holiday 4.5′ Berry Mountain pre-lit Tree.
As we gazed at this tree I realized what a freakin’ grandmother I have become. I am actually looking at a tabletop tree. How pathetic is that? What’s even worse, is that I don’t want a tall tree because the cats will go up into it! So now I am a freakin’ grandmother worrying about my cats climbing my tree. Wait, it gets worse.
It is a flocked tree, the signature tree of all grandmothers! It is the Mother Flocker of All Christmas Trees.
“Grab it, let’s go,” I whisper to my husband who hoists the mighty tree over his left shoulder and proceeds to the checkout. Wow, give the man an ax and a red-plaid shirt and he could be my personal lumberjack and for less than fifty bucks we are back in business.
And as for the cats? I took apart every single one of the gazillion red ornaments and reassembled them back on the tip of the branches without using any hooks. This way my cats wouldn’t be tempted to bat around the little glass bulbs and our tree will not be their playhouse.
Cute!!!
My 25 year old daughter will have a heart attack Christmas morning but…gasp…I think we are geeting an artifical one too!
Life is too short to vacuum pine needles in July!!!!
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Hahaha, I made hubby carry my 6 foot fake tree with the lights that I put on it, still on it, to a shed…I don’t have to put that focker together this year and string lights…yay, yippie, unless the packrats did a number on it while it was residing in the shed…I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
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Your tree looks beautiful! It’s the best grandmother flocking tree ever!
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You really had me thinking David went out to cut down a tree. I swear you did.
I can’t convince my husband to go artificial…yet. I love that pre-lit idea. But I can’t say I’m going the short grandma tree route yet.
Your surprised human is way too cute.
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You should see my mother flocking look of surprise! What an amazing tree!
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My girls are dying to put the tree up…
We left it in Minnesota.
Oops.
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Your tree is beautiful! I love the little suprised face in the corner, too cute!
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Our pre-lit tree only half lights, so last year the top hald had the prelit lights and the bottom hald had strands of lights I put on. I have a feeling it will be like that again this year because unlike you I need my tall tree and they are a little more than we can spend.
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OH NO…not a table top tree!!!
Flocked??? Hmmmmm….
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Nothing wrong with that.
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Flocked? Gasp!
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At least bring in some branches for that fresh pine smell. I want you cleaning up pine needles like the rest of us!
Happy Thanksgiving! Stop by my blog for some party game ideas.
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IMO, nothing beats a pre-lit tree! I had one prior to marrying my hubby… his tree isn’t pre-lit! I sure don’t like it, near as well!
Lovd the look of the surprised human! too cute!
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The tree looks great!
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loverly, Carrie!
makes me want to string cranberries!
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My grandma always had a flocked tree too! Bummer about needing a new tree. I hope my pre-lit tree works again this year.
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I bought a table top one 2 years ago… I think it’s about 2 feet tall…. clean-up is so easy since it only takes about 5 shiny ornaments and 5 sock monkey ornaments to fill it. Being in your fifties is all about easy schmeazy as far as this grandmother is concerned!
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
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You are SUCH the granny. But I think because we are close to the same age, it would look delightful next to my glass fruit.
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We just threw an old sheet over our tree, lights still on (and probably some ornaments) and put it in the basement.
My kids think it’s Christmas in the basement, but not in the rest of the house, all year round.
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you are the best story teller ever! Nice tree, and little human.
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It looks real and from your little cutie’s expression, it must feel like Christmas with it all set up!!
I have a “fake” pre-lit as well and they are great!!
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I love it! And I love the little look of surprise in the corner too!
Smart way to hand the ornaments. Cat proof. Cool beans!
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Your tree looks great!
We scrapped the X-mas tree a few years ago. I am severly allergic, so I could never go downstairs for long periods of time or I would be miserable. We do however decorate our Ficus plant. We get weird looks from friends and family, but why cut down a tree and watch it die. It seems like such a waste of a perfectly good tree. I think its the hippie in me…
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I got a pre-lit tree last year…I think I sang Heaven came down and glory filled my soul
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We went “Fake Tree” about 3 Christmases ago. The girls decided that if we were going to Go Fake, we had to Go All The Way. So, what do we have? An Aluminum Tree from The Aluminum Specialty Company in Manitowac, WI!
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Very nice tree:-)
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That is one pretty mother-flocking tree. We have a pre-lit one now (after nine years of having no money to buy a new one) and it is worth it not to hear my husband complain about the ONE Christmas-related job I ask him to do.
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How is it possible that it’s already the holiday season? Where did my year go?
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I love my prelit Christmas tree. It was the best invention ever made. I left a blog award for you on my blog. Simply because I love your blog. Come and see the details. Have a good Thanksgiving
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<('(..)')>
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Alright…real or fake?
The Christmas tree of course!
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If you hadn’t mentioned all the Grandmother qualities to your tree, I’d have just said its beautiful. It still is but it makes me feel a little wrong thinking that now. It might mean a grandmother tree is in my future and I refuse to believe that just yet.
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This post title makes me giggle every time I read it…
I’ve always had a fake tree… and just recently got a pre-lit one. That has to be one of the greatest inventions of the century. Seriously.
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I think I will have a pre-lit Christmas tree the Christmas after I put my husband in his grave. Until then, “We’re going to have a real tree, and that’s that!” Yours is great!
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I cant’ remember the last time my family had a real tree! I do love the scent but not the mess of falling needles or the horror that is stringing up the lights! I may get a small one just for the scent and place it in the dining room!
We got a pre-lit one after we got married and yet as easy as it is…there is always a war wound as Hubby puts it together!
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Pre-lit trees are the best! Well, except for when they become “Whenever” lit trees.
My kids decorated the tree by themselves this year. I’m resisting my temptation to rearrange the ornaments. The kids are so proud of their work.
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