The One Where I Am Remarkably Inappropriate, Again
February 22, 2010 by admin
Filed under living with me
I know it is inappropriate behavior on my part, but I’m declaring that up front and you can quit reading right now if you want because I’ve already got your page hit and you are now my statistic.
Hundreds of thousands of people enjoy “celebrity immersion” by following tabloid television shows, fingering through celebrity magazines, and tweeting through award ceremonies. Not that there is anything wrong with this kind of behavior …
Me? I’d rather watch the World’s Tallest Man try to lay down in a regular size bed because I am fascinated by extremely inappropriately sized humans. Another thing I’d love to see would be a car built to the proportion that would be necessary to transport the World’s Tallest Man, hopefully not built by Toyota.
And while most people would marvel at the shoe size of the World’s Tallest Man or wonder where he gets his socks, not me … I’d like to see him perched on the World’s Only Proportionately Accurate Bar Stool. Seriously, how cool would that be?
I completely understand that Extreme Individuals, as I like to call them, risk being exploited by circuses and carnivals but that falls under the jurisdiction of People for the Ethical Treatment of People. I also understand Extreme Individuals come with Extremely Uncomfortable Lives that make it difficult to move, walk, eat, sleep but I inappropriately choose not to think about that part of their situation.
I’ve never watched an episode of Little People Visiting It’s A Small World or whatever that show is called, but I am without a doubt enjoying every moment of 22 inch tall Ping Ping’s life. Now that Ping Ping has reached his eighteenth birthday (legal man age) he plans on getting professionally measured in hopes of getting into the Guiness World Book of Records.
My personal hope for Ping Ping would be to see him walk down a red carpet and be asked, “Who are you wearing,” only to have him shout back “Cabbage Patch Kids 25th Anniversary Line” as he smiles and waves. That, to me, would be good television.
I feel so used, I’m more than just a hit. You on the other hand are a hit on my reading list.
I could be totally inappropriate about Ping too…but this is a family show.
You are hilarious!
NOt sure who Ping pong is…but you’re pretty darn funny.
I’ve seen the world’s tallest woman..she used to live in our city and even on our street when i was a teenager..we use to peek inside to see if she had big furniture..but to no avail..all their windows were covered up..
So now you must read The Giant’s House. You just have to!
Oh I have some vintage CPK that would look sooo cute on Ping Ping! Of course, they’re girl clothes, but he would be so fun to dress. Not like a baby; they squirm too much. Mmmm…baby…the other other white meat.
I do not know about the ping ping. will google and be back later!
Hey Care Bear,
Just making my security rounds at the park and thought I would check in with you and make sure all is well. By now you should be you should be comfortably into your deep beauty sleep. House is quiet except for the last of the dying embers in the fire place. At the park we call this ‘impertubation’.
Nothing to report here. Just read your thoughts on Extreme individuals and really liked it. I was thinking you could probably add Champ to that list. He definitely needs more than a regular sized bed and there’s rarely been an overcoat that he fits into.
Sweet dreams, Care Bear
Tommy K
Hey stranger!!! I hope all is well with you! Thanks for the laugh BTW!