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shotshell reloader ~ candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


382

(SOLD)
MEC 600 JR Mark5 Shotshell Reloader
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Do you trap shoot? Me either.

Do you know someone that does trap shoot? Then tell them about this little gem I’m offering for re-sale.

Here’s how you can easily accomplish that scenario:

“Hey, does Dick still do that trap shooting thing, or was that just a phase, because I saw a sweet ass 600 JR Mark5 Shotshell Reloader on a facebook re-sale page.”

And then you send them a screen cap of this post. Easy peasy trap shoot squeasy.

This item currently retails at Cabela, brand new, at $200.

Well, I’m not Cabela, and this is not brand new so I’m offering it for a drastically reduced price.

But here’s the deal. I was going to list it at a reasonable price and we all know some Dick would come along and say, “Can I take it off your hands for half that price?” Guess what, Dick … I already took the half off in advance. You’re welcome.

And yes, that is a stock photo that I pulled off the world wide web. And I know that is frowned upon, but it is really hard to get a decent picture of the 600 JR Mark5 Shotshell Reloader.

Now, who wants to pony up what it is going to take to move this out of my home because you are about to make some trap shooter’s dream come true.

And that’s just a guess. I don’t know your trap shooter. Or their dreams.

 

 

 

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legit vintage ornaments – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


20151205_143956 (1)(SOLD)
140+ Legit Vintage Ornaments
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Looking to decorate ala vintage this year? Here, let me help you.

These are truly ornaments from the 1960s and they do show wear. The coloring on them has faded in spots. If you are young and fresh, you need to realize that as a human, this will happen to you someday, too.

There are 70+ gold ornaments and 70+ colored ornaments in a variety of shapes and sizes. You guys, that’s a lot.

I’m guessing that maybe a dozen of the ornaments are missing the little metal dealio that goes on top of the ornament so that you can slip your hook-thing through that region. Maybe a dozen. Maybe more, but not too many more.

Those ornaments without the metal dealio were then displayed lovingly and carefully in a glass basket that is not included. Look, I’m cool but not cool enough to sell all my shit at rock bottom prices.

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small nativity, children display item – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


nativity small

(SOLD)
Small Nativity, Children’s Display Item
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

It’s hard to put a price on Jesus, but that is exactly what I’m going to do today.

When closed, this little nativity scene is a mere 5.5″ tall and 7″ wide and it can safely house Baby Jesus and his posse. Open, we are looking at a full 14″ inches and that is plenty of room for two sheep, a camel, three wise men, an angel, the obligatory shepherd, and the Holiest of all families, Mary, Joseph, and sweet baby Jesus.

Now this nativity, although it is ridiculously cute and appealing to children of all ages, is more for display than for actual action-type rough-and-tumble biblical reenactment.

Need a little Jesus in your life? Look no further, he’s right here. And as soon as you open your wallet, he can be with you.

Amen.

 

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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baby monitor, three pieces – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


20151128_185410-1(SOLD)
Baby Monitor, three pieces
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

And now you can eavesdrop on your children with greater convenience!

Do you spend your day running your ass off between the kitchen and the laundry room? Are your arms too weak from rocking and nurturing to carry a monitor from room to room to room?

I’m going to tell you that this is life-altering. I’m going to tell you that this is the greatest thing since your first beer after nine months of pregnancy. I’m going to tell you just about anything to get this out of my home.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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name-brand surround sound – candid-resale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


 

picmonkey_image(SOLD)
Name-Brand Surround Sound System
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Are you crazy in love with the deep, rich, exciting experience of watching your favorite movies in surround sound? Do you love the sound of scary movies when you feel like the movie’s lead creepy-murdering-guy has just opened the door right behind you?

Well, that’s not going to happen with this system, that’s for sure. There are, however, many speakers and oodles of wires, a special remote, and maybe what looks like a receiver along with an instruction manual. I don’t know. I’m talented in other areas and I cannot figure out this shit, that’s for sure.

So, for the low price of zero dollars, you can take home this what-used-to-be-state-of-the-art-top-notch surround system.

Here are the rules!

1. Don’t ask me if it still works. It did, it used to, and it was delightful in a teen’s bedroom. He thought he was all it and then some. It increased his popularity.

2. I want it gone. Soon. Like for realz, yo. If you say you are going to be here to pick it up, then be here. This is some [potentially] good shit I’m offering here. Don’t string me along with four pick-up times in three days and then just vanish. I used to be super nice. Some of you wore me out and ruined it for everyone else. I’m not super nice anymore, I’m just average nice.

3. Again, I do not know if it works. Got that? If you get it home and it doesn’t work … don’t be mad at me. Re-read this shit and say to yourself, “Bitch said it might not work, she seemed cool though. She’s honest and fair.”

In conclusion, I do not know if this works, I would like it out of my home, don’t jerk me around.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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baby seat – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.

 


12208296_10208461444520664_5776884587182932101_n(SOLD)
Baby Seat
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Strap your baby in and tell them they need to kick their legs because these seat is old school.

Gas an issue? This seat has three speeds: none, low, and high. Determine your baby’s gas level … are we talking about a tiny burp, do we need just a little help wiggling it out, set it in low gear. Something a little more intense? Crank it to high and let the good vibrations do their thing.

This chair is obviously well used and batteries are not included (but I did test it with new batteries and it worked great but I’m not giving you my batteries because then I’d have to jack up the price, am I right?. I’m almost begging you to take this from my  home. This just might be exactly what you need to stop your baby from crying. I don’t know your baby, so that’s just a guess and not a guarantee.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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gratitude, free to a good home – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


 

turkey(SOLD)
Gratitude, free to a good home.
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Hey, Happy Thanksgiving. Today I am ridiculously and shamelessly grateful for all of you.

This week I have been receiving the most awesome messages via Facebook chat. You guys have been showing me pictures of my stuff in your homes and on your kids and dogs … I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve also received a metric shit ton of compliments on my writing style and, well, that’s [almost] worth more than the money I received from y’all while I’ve been cleaning out my attic.

I’m crazy grateful to C.C. for forcing me to watch her sales go sliding on through my timeline and seducing me into placing my first item. And thanks to H.H. for giving me a legit writing job with a legit Sheboygan business.

And you guys that are giving to those in need, you are beyond wicked cool. You’ve inspired me to reach out to countless others and have privately gifted to items to those who couldn’t throw together enough money for to buy a pot to piss in. Not literally. I did not gift them a pot to piss in but you get what I’m talking about here.

So here’s to us … the thrifters, the givers, the dreamers, and me.

Cheers!

P.S. I’ve only gone through 1/4 of the attic. And when that’s done I’ve got a basement and a storage unit, too.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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sheets, twin – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


2015-11-21 15.04.14(SOLD)
Twin Sheets
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Check out these sheets, greenest green you’ve ever seen!

These sheets are ridiculously soft because of the magic of microfiber. No rips, no tears, no obvious worn spots … it is almost as though angels slept on these sheets, just hovering right above and never making contact.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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two very loud “musical” instruments – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


2015-11-07 12.30.36(SOLD)
Two Very Loud “Musical” Instruments
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Fisher Price and Little Tikes have combined their efforts in an attempt to drive me insane.

Unfortunately, these two “instruments” are still functioning. Fortunately, I’d love to have them functioning in someone else’s home.

Each one of these gems has a tiny glitch to them, like the bow is missing on the faux violin. And the gee-tahr might have a glitch with the on/off switch.

If your child is young enough to enjoy making noise, they certainly won’t notice those problems. Batteries are not included, you can thank me later for that …

Everyone knows Dave Grohl got his start in a garage band. Let’s move these items out of my home and over to your place so your toddler can get started with his first jam session / play group.

And if this turns into a real thing, I want a solid mention on the album liner notes.

NaBloPoMo November 2015

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pilgrim costume, you’re welcome – candid re-sale

Just like your city, my city has a multitude of Facebook groups where you can post your buy/sell/iso items. These are my actual posts. I removed some of the details, but these are my items listed for sale along with my pictures partnered with my words.


 

PicMonkey CollagePilgrim(SOLD)
Pilgrim Costume, you’re welcome.
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Sometimes when you love your children, I mean really really LOVE your children, you work very hard to make their holiday dreams come true.

Even when that holiday dream means wearing a pilgrim costume to their elementary school’s “authentic” holiday feast.

I used to be that parent. Now, not so much. Now I’m selling the remnants of their childhood dreams for dollars. I have become *that* parent.

What we’ve got here is the finest four piece homemade pilgrim costume from the parenting era that I like to call, “The Time I Gave a Damn.”

I’ve got a couple of kids left at home and they both refused to model this hat. Oh, sure … they pranced around with it on before school this morning but the second I attempted to grab a picture they vanished.

Now, I’m not saying your kid has a head like a basketball and a neck as thick as a roll of Kirkland (shout out to Costco!) paper towel, but if your biggest problem this Thanksgiving was finding a pilgrim hat to fit your child … well, I’ve got you covered.

Cons: Absolutely none.

Pro: One size fits most. I’m saying take off the apron that was loving tied in a back bow and you’ve got plenty of room for even the widest of children. Did I say your child was wide? No. But if they were wide with a head the size of a basketball and a neck as thick as a role of Kirkland paper towel … well, I’ve got you covered.

Pro: These are four separate pieces. That black dress can pave the way to a multitude of costumes. You’ve got the base of your witch costume right there. You need a nun costume for God only knows what, check that off your list. Oh, and that elementary school trip that everyone takes to the Heritage House? Yes, your child can be the best vintage kid ever. Just add a paper sack full of apples, carrots, and a hunk o’ cheese. BAM, you’re done.

Pro: You’ve taken this from my home.